narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via nosebleedsandnicotine)

rnilkbreath:

rnilkbreath:

rnilkbreath:

rnilkbreath:

i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom

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my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u meaners told

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who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’

WHO CHANGED IT FROM FUDGERS TO FUDGERS I WILL KISS THE POPSICLE DONT TESTICLE ME

(Source: beeblejuice, via mylittleazn)

I can’t wait to move in to my new apartment. Too much excitement.

fjordism:

AARON PAUL JUST POSTED THIS ON TWITTER AND I’M SHITTING

(via signalsandsoundwaves)

lavieavantlamort:

TRAPAHOLICS

(Source: vinesnow, via tittyfukk)

ladygagarbage:

when you masturbate twice on the same day

image

(via itsgaytimeinthebathroom)

justoneconfusedgirl:

SAINT LAURENT
COLLECTION XI
MUSIC FOR SAINT LAURENT
CHERRY GLAZERR ‘HAD TEN DOLLAZ’ ORIGINAL SONG WRITTEN AND RECORDED BY CLEMENTINE CREEVY
IN LOS ANGELES JANUARY 2014

http://www.ysl.com
http://cherryglazerr.bandcamp.com

Image © John Baldessari

cuphaz:

when i was 14 my teacher made fun of my pimples in front of the whole class and my best friend was furious so whenever she saw the teacher she’s like “OH YOU GET NEW CRINKLES TODAY” “DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT COS APPARENTLY YOU DIDN’T” “HEY MA’AM IS THAT YOUR BUTT OR IS THAT YOUR BELLY THEY LOOK THE SAME” she got detention almost everyday even i told her to stop she still did it anyway if you dont know what golden friendship is this is

(via babyminaj)

" She deserves better, you say. I say: You’re a goddamn coward. What she deserves is an actual person she can connect with. She deserves you, or me or the entire world; she deserves someone achingly real and honest. She deserves a human being equally raw to pursue her and love her and, perhaps, destroy her emotionally, but she deserves all that as well. She doesn’t deserve anyone’s sugary fairytale. She deserves to float freely, with you, or me, or the world, into the very depths of her own psychosynthesis. She deserves to explore the meaning of the word "intimacy", with someone beside her that will care regardless. She fucking deserves all of it. So, pluck up the courage and be with her or leave her in peace but don’t you dare "sell" her your own "inadequacy" as a lie so that, again, you manage to comfort your conscience and eventually come to feel that you love her exactly because you’re letting her go. Because, darling, that’s bullshit. That’s only you own little self-created lie laying behind a much bigger lie; it’s not even properly concealed within itself, you fucking idiot. "